Good Omens concerning Branches and Limbs

I recently picked up Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's Good Omens. It was written in the year that I was born. I admit that I am not a Pratchett fan, and I have heard that his other books are notoriously irreverent. The interesting aspect of the book is that Gaiman's bizarre storytelling and Pratchett's sense of un-sacred humor make for a book that feels almost like Douglas Adams. Mr. Adams work was wry, clever, witty, absurd, and had many aside jokes contained in asterisks.

If Douglas Adams had written about the Apocalpyse, it would have rang pretty close to Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch.

The tale concerns the birth of the Antichrist and his destiny to end the world as we know it. Crowley, a vaguely unethical demon, is in charge of transporting the child to his adoptive parents - ambassadors from an American embassy. Only, things don't go according to plan - the satanist nuns of the chattering order of Saint Beryl, who are responsible for the switch, end up botching it all up horribly, giving the Antichrist to a benign English family who lives in the Country.

The baby given to the American Ambassador is watched carefully by both Crowley and his heavenly "opponent" Aziraphale. These two have taken residence on earth and are reluctant to see the world end if at all possible. Crowley loves his Bentley (but every cassette tape left in the car for more than two weeks morphs into a copy of 'the best of Queen'), and Aziraphale loves books (he owns a bookshop to store his collection, and refuses to allow any 'customers' to take from his shelves any of his prizes through a strategy of musty odor and calculated rudeness.). Unfortunately, the child, who was named Warlock and received contradicting educations of good and evil. He reaches the age of his destiny, and as Crowley and Aziraphale watch... nothing happens!

It is a scramble to find what happened to the Antichrist child. It turns out that he is unconsciously affecting the his hometown with ideal weather and diverts change from happening. His name is Adam, and he is one of 'Them," the local gang of four kids. Pepper, who is the lone female of the group is raised by her feminist mom to stick up for herself. Brian, the "pigpen" of the group, eternally exploring and getting mucky. Last of all is Wensleydale, the studious young nerd of the group, whose chief interests are science and logic. Adam's gang of Them have a rival gang called Greasy Johnson and the Johnsonites. They are name-callers and a vaguely blunt thing in the side of Them. The Johnsonites are never quite effective enough to be a real thorn. Adam receives a hellhound for his infernal destiny, which he expects to be a yapper, and thus the hellhound takes on that shape. The hellhound is named 'Dog' by Adam, 'since that will keep things simpler.' As Adam realizes his destiny, the world around him nears its end.

Meanwhile, a descendent of Agnes Nutter arrives in Adam's hometown of Lower Tadfield, and finds that the arcane landlines are shifting as a natural guard surrounding Tadfield. Anathema Device owns the prophesies of Agnes Nutter, who is the only modern oracle who was correct in her predictions. Frustratingly, though Agnes has accurate predictions, they are worded in Olde English from scenes she 'remembers' from a past position into the future of her family tree. Her predictions are so hard to comprehend, that most of the time, people of the Nutter descent tend to realize them fulfilled only after the fact. Anathema is the best witch that has come in the Nutter clan, and her scrutiny lays out that the end is coming. But what no one expects is that the sweet natured Adam will the the means to that end...

What I liked best about the book is the passage concerning the four OTHER horsemen of the Apocalypse - they are a band of four dim-witted bikers who follow in the cycle trail of War, Pollution, Famine, and Death. Their realization of what an honor it is to be riding in the wake of the original 'Hell's Angels' causes them to pick out their own names. They end up with Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty to Animals, Really Cool People, and Things Not Working Properly Even After You Give Them A Good Thumping. (The stories behind the names had me smiling for minutes afterward.).

Limbs and Branches, by Jon Foreman

He is the lead singer of the band Switchfoot, and this is the second of his two solo projects. His voice shines as it accompanies rough acoustic and percussion, heavy use of tambourines and classical (slightly out of tune) guitars. Foreman is distinguishable for the way his pitch wavers just above a spoken whine, it is the distinct sense of slight discord that has made for Switchfoot's fame and success. This stripped down effort is a laid back and thoughtful in its scope and simplicity. I have really been enjoying listening to this raw side of Foreman's talents. It is understated and well spoken. My favorite track is the fourth, "Resurrect Me," and next is the facetious eighth song which is a tongue and cheek self criticism for being a shallow music act.

Midterms are fading

My pulse calms in the new peace

I will enjoy rest...

Split Ends, Twists compared.

All right, haven't posted in a while, I've been occupied reading. I just finished the Ted Dekker/Erin Healy novel Burn. I chose it because it had an eye-catching cover and Dekker consistently provides a solid thriller. Unfortunately, I always seem to feel disappointed when the twist is revealed. Dekker always has a twist, the fun part of reading is guessing what it is, then analyzing the supernatural ability's limits. His character's weakness is when they sleep, so I am guessing that he either takes a lot of naps, or at least longs to do so.
Burn takes place in a small gypsy camp in New Mexico. Janeal Mikkado is the restless daughter of Jason, the rom baro (or leader) of the camp. Her mother was gaji, and thus half-Romany Janeal is never truly accepted by the group. She loves her father deeply, but pines for an exciting life out of the kumpania. Her two best friends are kind-hearted beauty, Katie, and her boyfriend, Robert. One night, while walking the mesa, Janeal meets Salazar Sanzo. Salazar is a roguish drug dealer who is wanted by the DEA, Janeal's father is scheduled to betray him within a week. Salazar offers her a deal, $1,000,000 in exchange for her father's life. Salazar claims the money was his, but was confiscated for the sting by the DEA. Janeal finds the cash, but told Robert and Katie about her predicament. They try to convince her to ask her father's counsel, she refuses, hurt that Salazar told her of the bust before Jason. Her willfulness lands her in a situation far beyond her control. Salazar's hired men burn out and kill kumpania. He corners Janeal in the inflamed meetinghouse and offers her the lives of Jason and Katie in exchange for the promised cash. She refuses to give in to the drug lord's demands, seeing what he has already done as unforgivable. In return, Salazar kills Jason, then abandons Janeal and Katie to the conflagration. Janeal is faced with a decision that will affect her life - to save the herself and the cash, or attempt to rescue her bound friend...
Fifteen years pass, Janeal has made a new life for herself under an assumed name. She assumes herself to be the only survivor of the Mikkato massacre. Janeal is a cutthroat in the corporate world, blackmailing her boss to steal his coveted position. Janeal's past is reopened when she hears that Salazar has finally been arrested. She had made a deal with the drug lord to keep silent about that night in return for a mutual immunity from his pursuit. However, the DEA officer who apprehended Salazar was her childhood friend Robert. Janeal fears that he will discover her deception and betrayal, and prosecute her as an accomplice for the decade and a half of silence. Janeal's journeys to New Mexico to protect her new-found role as publisher of New York's most popular magazine. She expects to succeed in her mission using the same manipulative formula, playing others to get what she wants. However, Salazar's years have not dulled his cunning mind and powerful personality. He has been waiting for Janeal to return to his web, and will not be denied even in the face of his unfortunate current captivity. The game has begun, who will be burned?

As I said, there is always a twist to a Dekker novel, but that is the only high to be won from his thrillers. Another story which utilizes the same twist is Anansi Boys, by Neil Gaiman. In my opinion, this is far the superior book. (You have probably figured this already, I am quite consistently entertained by Gaiman's narratives.) "Fat Charlie" Nancy has been estranged from his embarrassing father by the Atlantic Ocean. Most children are ashamed of their parents at times, Charlie's father was an especially flagrant case of never stopping in causing this emotion. Charlie's unremarkable cubicle dwelling life and comfortable relationship with Rosie is wrecked by news of his father's untimely demise. As usual, Charlie's dad couldn't have had a normal death. He had been belting out a love song during karaoke night at a bar. In the middle of the song, he doubled over from a heart attack, groped a lady too close to the stage, and fell, ripping off the lady's top on his descent. Charlie is obligated to attend the funeral in America. And once there, he has a uncomfortable reunion with his childhood neighbors, a trio of eerie old ladies. They inform him that his father was the incarnation of the African trickster god, Anansi. Charlie also apparently has a brother named Spider, a fact that confuses him, as in his memory he was an only child. Once he returns to England, his agency job, and Rosie, he summons his brother on a whim. Spider arrives, and, like the Cat in the Hat, refuses to leave before he has a good time. It turns out that Spider is dashing, confident, and exhibits godlike abilities. In short, he is a personification of everything Fat Charlie wishes to be. Thus, Spider unnerves him and makes him feel even worse about his life. Spider is delighted to be in England, he soon discovers Rosie, charming her out of Charlie's arms and into his. Spider is even able to sweet talk Rosie's uptight and critical mother, who had been skeptical of Charlie. This is where the book really takes off - the interplay between the free-spirited Spider and the cautious Charlie is brilliant and engaging. The extreme measures that Charlie takes to get rid of his accomplished brother cause them both to be in danger. Anansi, their father and the roguish deity who stole the stories from the Sky god, is the quickest witted, most cunning, and clever god ever to exist. Will his sons escape the supernatural trap designed specifically for their downfall?

I lightly recommend the first for an intense and thrilling read. The second, I endorse highly as an engaging and enjoyable experience.

Falchion

Ah! A haiku, yes?
I need to think, give me time...
Nope, cannot do so.